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”She was sounding more and more like Stephanie, who had told me I’d have kids with Jennifer.“That doesn’t make it easier,” I sighed.“No, but stop blaming yourself. She tricked you, then she decided what to do for her own reasons. You won’t get over it until you stop blaming yourself. And quit being selfish and thinking only of yourself!”She was right. I was blaming myself. I had admitted to myself that Becky might have made the same decision if I was home, but she also might have ruined her life by doing what I wanted. And because I didn’t love Becky, I didn’t care how badly her life turned out if she’d had the baby. I had wanted that baby, I would have loved that baby completely, and she took him, and the love I would have had for him, away from me!It hit me that I really was being selfish! Despite giving everything I had to others, I was doing it because it was what I wanted; it was what pleased me. I wondered if I only gave because of what I could get back, not because giving was. I was sure I felt cramped thismorning. And I had a migraine...Must have been that paperwork making mefeel this way, because I took a nap and now I'm fresh as a daisy!" Yes, paperwork" Rangiku still couldn't believe what she was seeing. Shewanted her captain to be more laid back, but she wasn't expecting THIS!Everything about her captain was exactly like Rangiku, if not similar.Even Hitsugaya's blue eyes were now more sincerely alluring than icycold. Then there was the whole issue on how she was going to tell thiswoman before her that she wasn't always like this? She wasn't even sureif this woman KNEW who she used to be, and was too afraid to ask,thinking the Hitsugaya of old would come out and berate her at anyminute.However, Hitsumoto disrupted her thoughts. "Anyway. I got most of itdone, but right now I feel like a drink. Wanna come?" Come?" Rangiku was surprised by the gesture. The Hitsugaya of old wouldnever be like this. In fact, was there any of Hitsugaya left? Come tothink of.
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